Open For Trading

I guess i’m in the stock market now. Of course, I haven’t allocated any funds to my investment account yet, because I just opened the account last night. I researched my available options and found a company based out of Seattle that is really good with educating those who have absolutely no idea what the difference between a dividend and a portfolio are. I just learned who Paul Krugman was the other day when I heard him on the NPR show “Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me!”

This means that I am one step closer to being rich, which is but one step to reaching the ultimate goal of my American Dream. I can’t cross that step out, because I certainly am not rich as of yet. My Mint.com account shows my total net worth at $8.87, which is by all definitions – broke.

God knows where my pay from BCT went. I guess it went to my side trip to St. Louis, my new Cannon EOS T-3, my XBox 360 with a 2 year subscription to Live Gold, my 44″ Vzio television, CoD, and a plethora of exotic house plants. To think that in the short time since I graduated from high school in June of last year, I have spent a total of roughly $17,000. And the only purchase that I regret in all that time, was the night that I bought the tickets for the whole gang to go to the strip club in the big city (even though I did enjoy the experience VERY much). Other than that, I am perfectly content with my purchases. And now, I am enrolled in University to be taking classes in September. It’s funny how 12 months doesn’t seem that long in foresight. In retrospect, however, I am a totally different person than I was this time last year.

To add to this gridlock of my financial verbiage, I have bills. Not many, but at this point my bills are deafening to my state of well-being. Next time, I am going to pay for my cellular phone 12 months in advance.

With all of the things on my plate, it seems like it will be impossible to accomplish my American Dream. But I have visions. Great dreams of penthouses and fast cars, loose women and clubbing all night. I love clubbing, its one of my hobbies, and its the cheapest by far.

So, you ask, what is my checklist for success? That, my avid reader, is a trade secret. I have not yet been successfully psychoanalyzed by any Doctorate-flinging klutz of a suit they call professional. Nor, am I going to let you into my private world.

But I can divulge one thing: I really do like suits. Talk about foreshadowing…

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